The Unknown; The "What Ifs"

 At the end of November, one of my Richmond friends had this great idea, her mom works for this well known company that does people's taxes. During tax season they usually need someone to do the front desk/answer the phone. Why don't you do it? she asked me and I really didn't have much of an answer. Within less than 24 hours, I was asking her if she would talk to her mother about the possible job. It hasn't gone anywhere after that.

When she first told me, my first instinct was "I haven't ever been away from home that long" and "The most I've ever left my cat alone was 3 weeks". I talked to Mom and she told me to sit down and do the pros and cons of this possible job. The two cons I listed were the only ones that ever came to mind. I need to get over myself about home because I can't and don't want to live with my mother forever. One day, home will be an apartment, hopefully in Richmond. So to have a chance to get a job and make some connections there now would be wonderful. I still have friends there, friends who aren't childish like the ones here and both of my brothers live there.

I haven't talked about the job to anyone much besides my mother and my best friend. I haven't even told my brother that his roommate suggested this. If it does go through, I'd be living with him for four months. It's not like I'd be on a couch. Leyna, the friend, has one more bedroom in the house my brother is living in with her so I'd have my own room, my own bed. The main reason I haven't talked to anyone about it is the last time I thought I had a job, it turned out to be total crap and I don't want to get my hopes up again. I know that getting a job is the first step to getting out of this endless cycle I've found myself in. 

Mom and I talked more about stuff today and the subject of cars and jobs and money came up. She said something I'd been trying to not think of but knew it to be true. "If you get the job in Richmond, it could lead to other jobs." And she's right. If that does happen, I might as well be living in Richmond because I'd be there almost full time. What that's making me realize is that I need at lease my license right now. It's one thing to not have the money for a car in Richmond because once I have a somewhat-steady job, I can get one. But I can't do anything with a car without my license. 

And I'm trying really hard to not let my brain plan out all these what-ifs because yes, I want it to happen but I won't know if it will until it does.