Lost in Thoughts All Alone

 They were in the same room and yet, his Aara felt a thousand miles away from him. Ever since they were reborn and became aware of who the other was, Kuronue had hoped they could make a new life together. However Aara was having none of that. She would hardly look at him, barely speaking to him. Her anger was so much easier to deal with than the silent treatment. When she first realized it was him, Aara had been angry, very angry. She'd lashed out at him and he'd taken it without a fight. He deserved as much.

"Forever you said! You liar! You promised! You swore to come back to me! I TOLD you not to go, that there was something wrong! But you didn't listen to me! Of all the times to not listen!" Aara growled and slapped him. 
"No matter what I do or say, I can't take that back now Aara. You and I both know that. But believe me when I tell you that one decision is the one I've regretted for years."
"Years as a human maybe." She growled at him. "You didn't have to live with the aftermath of what you did."

If only... there was something that he could do or say. At this point, he'd do anything. Kurama hadn't been much either. All the older fox had said was that this was something the two of them had to work out on their own. He did, however, explain to Kuronue just how much Aara had suffered in the years after Kuronue's death until one of her enemies had caught up to her. Kurama had gotten there at the very end but didn't step in to save her. She had looked at her brother as she was dying and smiled at him. 'She said to me, I'm going to find him now. I can't live in this world without him.' Kurama had told him. 'My sister hadn't lived for the six years since your death Kuro. Her spirit, the thing you loved most about her died with you.' Kuronue hadn't been able to reply to that because he knew it was true. If their roles had been reversed, he suspected that the same would have happened to him.

When Aara looked up from the book she was reading, Kuronue looked away and tried to act like he was busy cleaning his scythe. What he didn't see was her eyes sadden. She knew he was upset and wanted to fix this. She wanted to fix it but she didn't know how. 18 years in a human life and six years of a demon life without him. It is better to have known love and lost it than to have never loved at all is how the saying goes. She's not sure she agrees anymore. Their love shined so brightly that when it was gone, she had nothing left to give. For 24 years she's been stuck in that same moment, the moment she felt Kuronue die. Even with him right next to her, knowing that it's him, hasn't done anything to erase the constant pain. Her brother has warned her that she needs to be careful to not let her anger waste the time she and Kuronue have together as humans. He's right, he's always right. She knows it. 

And then there's the scythe. Kurama brought two things back to her the night Kuronue died. The pendant he had died trying to keep out of the hands of their enemies and his final scythe. The others he had once had were lost that night. Now he will spend all night and day polishing that thing to perfection. She can't stand the sight of it because it hurts almost as much as if he were forcing it into her heart. She sighed and closed the book she'd been trying to read. It's been two weeks since she realized Kuronue's human identity and ever since, he's always been in her thoughts, haunting her worse than ever before. She looked at the coffee table where a vase of freshly cut roses were arranged nicely. One by one each rose began to turn black and then as if someone had taken the vase and thrown it, it shattered.

"Aara?" Kuronue's attention was on her and this time, she couldn't keep up the ice around her heart. She said nothing but a tear slipped down her cheek. And the another and another until she was sobbing. The next thing she knew he had moved from the chair he was in and was on the couch next to her. He pulled her into his arms and she clung to his shirt.

"Aara, my sweet Aara. Talk to me. Tell me something."
"...It hurts."
"What does?"
"My heart. I... I can't..."
"Aara..."
"You're right here next to me but all I can see and feel is that moment. The moment when I lost you forever. I can't get past it."

He had been afraid of this. Kurama had not said but hinted to it. She was locked in that moment, unable to live past it because the pain of losing him had been too much. He didn't say anything at first but held her tighter. When her sobbing had slowed some, he pulled back and kissed her forehead. She looked at him and he smiled slightly, wiping away her tears.

"Aara my love, listen to me. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. And you need to remember this now and forever. Forever isn't just until the end of the lifetime we are living now. It is until the end of time. No matter the names we have and the forms we have, we will always find our way back to each other. I love you Aara and that will never change."

~

Okay, don't laugh. I wrote this while listening to the song SOS from the movie Mamma Mia. There are so many songs I could probably write one-shot Aara/Kuronue fanfics to. I've been tempted to do that actually, make a chaptered fanfic with several one-shots of Aara and Kuronue to the songs that remind me of them. I had this perfect name for the title but I can't remember it now. >_<;;